The struggle is real… Burn, Fire, Struggle, Calcination - [week 2]
In the motion of time and space experience we call life, we recognize the first stage of the works of alchemy as struggle / the Calcination phase that burns everything down. This must happen before we can re-envision and re-build our lives towards the intuited visions we dream of.
Often, we resist the struggle. Most of us don’t invite the hard times of chaos and our world crumbling to the ground with open arms, but rather resist change to stay in comfortable routine, convincing ourselves with stories of “it’s fine, I’m fine” even if it doesn’t serve highest selves or life’s mission (which can be as simple as joy or happiness).
So here, we acknowledge the need for the uncomfortable struggle as the first stage of renewal in both the 4 stages of flow & the 8 stages of alchemy. Here, we light bonfires of what no longer serves us, embracing the beginner's mind as strong emotions flow through as we watch what we’ve previously built (and are often very attached to) disappear before our very eyes.
photo by Erin Grimm from Ignite Your Inner Flame 2022, in Costa Rica
Calcination - Welcome to your ego death. The fire burns what is no longer needed, often tumbling all you know & your life into a great big pile of ashes. Here, you can begin again. This is the struggle.
Here we dive directly into the deep end, breaking down parts of ourselves and thought systems getting in the way of our own happiness. We acknowledge and say goodbye to our defense mechanisms in order to welcome in new beginnings. ‘But for the alchemists, Calcination is a controlled burn achieved by a deliberate surrender of our materiality through a variety of spiritual disciplines that ignite the passion in our souls…Calcination is working with Fire to burn away mental constructs and reveal a person’s true essence.’ - The Emerald Tablet, Chapter 10, Step One: Calcination.
Some ways Calcination/Struggle can appear in our lives:
-losing something we’re attached to, a job, relationship, home, possession, or self-image.
-hitting yourself with a flow prop - even painfully.
-ending relationships that no longer serve us.
-making huge decisions that change our & other’s lives, inducing huge change.
-feeling frustration, rage, anger, fear, and outbursts of strong emotions as our ego resists change.
-uncomfortability with the present or in our own skin
-incredulousness & disbelief
While the struggle phase doesn’t feel ‘good’ (it’s kinda not supposed to?) it’s a crucial moment to create space for the next phase of our existence. Without the space, we cannot create anew.
Ask yourself & flow:
How can I lean into the struggle & learn something new? something that truly challenges me?
What old patterns and paradigms are you ready to release, or are being released right now?
Flow like raging fire.
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photo by Erin Grimm from Ignite Your Inner Flame 2022, in Costa Rica
My musings;
I am grateful to have the courage to burn down old paradigms and patterns. These were relationships, living situations, employments, and habits that had become comfortable and easy, yet… in the back of my mind I knew they were not supporting my highest self or my most joyous being. Even to the point of me saying outloud “I want to get out”.
So, I listened.
My P magic and intuition spoke softly, whispering to me in moments of meditation, in nature, and in stillness to take care of what I create… and to follow my pleasure.
It’s what I preach, afterall.
Earlier this year, I revolutionized my life. About the same time I was deep in planning for the Ignite Your P(;)ssy Magic retreat, actually.
I went on a whim to “be a florida girl for a while” and ended up falling for a beautiful lady.
I invited myself on a 6 day birthday sailboat tour and fell deeply in love with sailing.
I listened to the caribbean waters calling me to finally come live on, near, in the ocean.
I realized some of my core relationships weren’t making me happy.
So, I am in the process of burning it all to the ground, metaphorically and in practice with the fire.
I am learning to sail, nurturing a budding relationship, getting rid of possessions, setting the stages for more burlesque & fire touring, and soaking in summer in Chicago for perhaps the last time.
The struggle, the calcination:
I don’t really know where I’m going after I move out of Chicago, except to be near the ocean and on a sailboat, and with my lover..
I don’t ‘know’ what I’m doing.
I have a lot of fear sometimes, before I release back to trusting the flow.
I cry, I’m tired, I’m a bit reclusive these days.
I go on a lot of very fast bike rides.
I am learning the chaos practice of rope dart.
I know I’ve hurt humans I love in following my dreams, and that makes my heart ache sometimes.
Yet, I trust this process. It’s not my first time burning everything down to follow my bliss and hone towards my truth - something I’m discovering along the way in real time
So, burn it down babe. The tower falls, the paradigms shift, and we have the opportunity to recreate ourselves from the ashes… unlimited amounts of times.
photos of “Bone Dance” - my piece about the alchemical stage of Calcination
by Peter Serocki from Raks Inferno at the Newport Theater in Chicago
I can’t wait to hear and see your musings. Post on the socials and tag me & @ignitefirekeepers so we can share our musings together.
Gratefully steeping in the chaos,
Gaea
